I dropped the bomb of moving and getting a job in Manhattan to my mother this past weekend to my mother, who was not very happy about it. At all. I’ve never met someone so unsupportive of change in my life.

And of course, when I told her the plan, she had to throw out the question “Why did you have kids then?”. Let me back up a bit. Ace and Ms.Pris and my children with my ex. Right now we share custody completely split, pretty much rotating who has the kids every five days. Except during his five days from 8-4 I have my daughter when my son is in school. So I pretty much have Ms.Pris everyday and Ace when he doesn’t have school. Moving to the city will alter this arrangement. Ace attends school up here, and Ms.Pris will start preschool in September. I’m not going to rip my son out of school in the middle of the year. So when I move to Queens, my son and daughter will be staying up her Monday through Friday. Friday after school I will be picking them up and they will be spending Friday nights to Sunday nights with me. I will get them on most holidays and for most of the summer. Izzy will be in daycare in the city. My mother thinks I am abandoning Ace and Ms.Pris, which of course I am not. If I thought it would be better I would take them with me. But, I think for now this would be the best course of action. If I took them Ace would be in school everyday, than in daycare until 5/6pm. Izzy and Ms.Pris would be in daycare from 8/9 until 5/6pm. That’s not fair to them, especially when they can spend the whole day with their father. Anyway, I don’t need to justify that to anyone, because as the kids get older they will choose who they want to live with for the most part, and what kid wouldn’t want to live in NYC? Where there is an endless possibility of things to do any day, any time?

So, to answer the question - why did I have kids? I had Mason because it was the right thing to do. I was 18 years old, didn’t know any better, but made a mistake and took care of my responsibility. I had Winter because I was in a stable relationship, Mason was going to be four and I wanted to complete my family. I didn’t know that a few months later everything would be shattered because of some very, very poor decisions made on the part of my ex. Isaiah was another sweet surprise, but a great one. I would never give up any of my kids nor do I regret any decisions I have made. I love my kids, and by moving to NYC, making good money I will only be providing all three of my kids AND myself a better life.

In the end I’m sad that my mother is so set in her mindset that the woman needs to be home with the kids and career is a four letter word, but I’m not going to let the feelings and assumptions of others keep ME from achieving MY goals that will make a better life for MY kids.